In this video, Nick Kemp shares his thoughts on the myth of complete independence. While independence has its merits, Nick argues that we’re far more dependent on others than we often realize, and that’s not a bad thing.
Drawing inspiration from the Japanese concept of jibun—a word that highlights how the self is intrinsically part of a larger community—Nick reflects on how meaningful connections and stepping out of our comfort zones can transform our lives.
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Nick: The other day, on a Twitter thread that got a lot of comments; it was this theme of self-reliance and the power of being independent, and it was getting all these positive responses. And I was pretty tempted to say, you know, hang on, we're not as independent as we like to believe we are. And we're very much dependent on the service or help of other people.
And so to pride ourselves on being ‘I can do it all by myself. I don't need help.’ And I'm not sure there’s this some positivity to that, we should be self-reliant. But I actually love the Japanese word for self, they have many words for self, but that word jibun, where you realize from the kanji you’re yourself, but you're a part; and you are a part of a community or a neighborhood, a community, a country, the world.
And yeah, we're trying as you pointed out, to be by ourselves thinking that's the answer to our problems. Just the other day, like five days ago, I went to toastmasters for the first time. And so I thought okay, well, I'm being a bit vulnerable, I'm exposing myself to something new, met all these people had a fantastic time. I can't wait to go back in two weeks.
And it didn't cost any money, I didn't have to really do anything other than walk in a room and start talking to people and start learning something new. And that was probably the highlight of my week. So I think you're right. We need to spend time with more people, and people maybe we don't know—new people.