What Makes a Good Coach?

What makes a good coach? Nowadays, most coaches focus on attaining external rewards such as money and fame. But are those essential in having a meaningful life?

As a coach himself, Nick Kemp talks about what is vital for their role: to share their knowledge and help other people discover what really matters to them.

Coaching is all about sharing and helping people reflect on knowledge.

I'm seeing words also, like winning: how winning is now framed in coaching. It's just like, that doesn't make sense. Like, why are we using the word win? Like, not everything's a competition. 

And, you know, coaching should be opening people up to possibilities and ideas and helping them reflect and it's not about saying, right, let's crush it, let’s win, let's hustle. And then I think success has now become strictly associated to this external reward: some money, some sort of fame, some sort of recognition. 

And you see it in in marketing, but yeah, this use of language. It's really different from Japan. So I've even seen examples of techniques where it's like, alright, you get into a state and you say, bring it on and you imagine achieving this goal.

And I'm thinking, you know if the Japanese would already have started working towards the goal, but they would have done it in, yeah, this subdued, slow process where we're already talking about and getting excited.

It's almost like… This is embarrassing. It's like the younger version of myself. I probably fell for that stuff when I was much younger. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna crush it and achieve my goals and then you think with a bit of life wisdom or perhaps If you learn life from a different culture, you begin to understand there are different ways. 

And it's what I do now. And you touched on this earlier, beyond me, and factoring the greater good that really matters. That's how I almost see self-actualization in Japan, it's beyond myself, it's the greater good, and doing things to help the greater good. 

But also, this true expression of who I am. Whereas in the West, it's become very self-centric – not selfish, but just very, I'm doing this, I'm achieving this, and you can do it as well, kind of thing. You can be like me. 

There's a famous line that I heard, I think it was Anthony Robbins, but I heard it from another power coach saying, you know, I'm making 100 grans a month, and I've got this car, and I'm saying this not to impress you, but to impress upon you the importance of blah, blah, blah. Now buy my program.

I just thought that was such lame, lame coaching. No coach, who really cares about someone else would say these things like, boast about your financial success, and then say, hey, I'm not saying this to impress you, when clearly, that's your point, I'm saying it to impress upon you that you can be anything. 

So I was like, that was my I think my first exposure to coaching a long time ago. That's not me. But then I have ended up coaching. And I said, maybe this opportunity to share and help people reflect on knowledge. And also to have them be introspective, and try and uncover what really matters to them.