Misako Yoke explores how embracing your true self and cultivating Genki habits can empower you to grow stronger and more resilient in episode 15 of the Ikigai Podcast.
Misako is an award-winning speaker, certified Life Story Coach, and Genki Method creator. She's committed to helping people navigate through life’s challenges to remind them of their true strength.
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What Does Genki Mean?
You might be familiar with the term, as most Japanese use it in the expression: O'genki desu ka? (How are you?) as a standard greeting. But what does genki really mean? Misako, the author of Take Heart! You're Stronger Than You Think shares her definition of genki: to be full of life.
To be full of life
Nick: Let's move in a positive direction, so genki means full of life, a state worth aspiring for, and most people would know this word because they know it's used as the greeting 'Genki desu ka?' How are you?
But genki has various meanings related to both physical and mental state. So I remember in Japan if you saw a fit person you could say 'ano hito genkisou ne?' People would look at you and say 'genkisou ne'.
If you looked tired or sad, they might say 'doushita no? Genki ni nai'. Do you want to touch on some of the meanings of genki?
Genki meaning in Japanese
Misako: Of course, I love to. Genki uses two Chinese characters: one is the origin, the other one is chi. Chi means our energy. The origin of energy is genki.
元気
Genki, 元気, can mean the following; lively; full of spirit; energetic; vigorous; vital; spirited; healthy; well; fit; in good health.
- Gen, 元, can mean origin; source; base; basis; foundation and root.
- Ki, 気, can include the following meanings; spirit; mind; heart: nature; disposition intention; mind; will; motivation mood; feelings
Often we use it as a more spiritual way of bringing up your enthusiasm that is contagious, and lively and animated. We are the origin of genki, that's what I love about the word genki so much.
I am often told that I am such a genki person and I love it, instead of you’re weird. Sometimes that means you're weird, you're too genki. Sometimes you're too weird. But I love the meaning of genki, it's origin of energy.
Also yes, it's not only physical, sometimes we are genki but not genki at the same time because it's got physical well-being and spiritual well-being. Genki has both sides.
Being a Wife in Japan
Misako wrote about how being a married woman in Japan has some disadvantages, stating that to be a good wife, a person has to be quite agreeable and obedient. Speaking for herself, Misako doesn't want to be perceived that way, as she believes that she has the right to be seen and heard as an individual.
Gender inequality in Japan
Nick: Let's talk about your life as a wife in Japan, and how that became, I guess, a source of conflict with you as your true self being a genki person.
So you write: 'In Japan, a good wife is quite agreeable and obedient. But I was none of these things.'
Misako: I decided to tell everything, this is me. I wrote in Japan, a good wife is, but I hope that it's not true anymore. I haven't been able to go back to Japan for almost five years and I don't really know the current situation, but I hope it has changed.
It's not fair for a lot of women, because not so many people are quiet, agreeable and obedient. When you get to a certain age, you will have developed yourself, and it's difficult to be obedient without thinking.
We have opinions and we want to discuss and build relationships based on who we are. But someone tells you being a good wife means obedient, that will shut the door to be yourself. So I hope that has been changed.
Nick: Yeah, I think it's changed to some degree, but I think Japan still is behind the rest of the developed world.
I remember when I went to Japan, and I used to love learning words and phrases. I remember learning Jimushi no Hana, and at the time, I thought it was cool.
But then I reflected on it. Soon after I realized, it is to describe female office workers as office flowers, and they're there just to make the environment more beautiful.
Misako: That's not the way we want to be seen. We wanted to be part of the team, but that was true. Shokuba no Hana is what we were expected of.Embrace Who You Are
Misako developed genki habits: one is 'embrace who you are and who you are becoming.' This habit of being true to oneself is one of the vital aspects of ikigai; Misako explains that for people to recognize their ikigai, they have to know and embrace who they really are.
A core concept of ikigai
Nick: I think this is a really core aspect of ikigai -- embracing who you want to be. It's about who you want to be and it's not about being your best self. It's about being your true self.
So I love that aspect. Who do you want to be? If that's in line with your true self? You'd definitely be genki.
Misako: I love the way you mentioned ikigai, ikigai cannot be separate from embracing who you are. So when you feel 'what's my ikigai? What do I want?' -- is embracing who you truly are and calling yourself.
Sometimes we adapt wrong ideas. As a fire-horse woman, I can tell you a lot of people told me wrong ideas I adapted without thinking and it took too long to realize, wait a minute, this is my life, I can change the way I respond.
So I was always reacting. So that ikigai is very important. Knowing ikigai is essential to embrace who you are.
Nick: Yeah, you've highlighted a big point. Many people with good intentions or sometimes bad will tell you who you should be: your parents, the teachers, your best friends.
They have these expectations of you to be sometimes perhaps someone different to your true self.
Misako: You just mentioned a very important point, because they don't have bad intentions, they kindly suggest for us to be better, to adapt better, but sometimes it doesn't really resonate with who you are.Navigate Through Changes
Another genki habit that Misako came up with is: navigating through changes. In life, change is inevitable; rather than being afraid of all these changes, we should see them as a way of learning and discovering something new, not only with things around us but also with ourselves.
Approach things from a beginner's mind
Misako: Then 'N' for navigate through changes. That is very important. One really important element you need to remember is that every time when you start something new, you are a beginner again.
So you cannot expect to be good at anything when you start something new. I was in shock when I started travelling by myself outside of my home country. My first country was Australia in Sydney, and I couldn't order coffee.
Somehow I said coffee, please I thought, but I got two coffees. It was puzzling why I had two coffees. I don't really know why. I was so discouraged. I didn't know the idea of navigating through changes. It's okay not to be perfect every time.
When you grow up in Japan. You can navigate around Tokyo, Yokohama, nice big Metropolitan, no problem, but once you get out of your country, you don't have to take off your shoes? That was big.
You stumble and you get frustrated, but you have to give yourself permission. It's okay. If you didn't give permission, you wouldn't be walking when you were a baby. How many times does a baby struggle to just stand up? So you have to remember.
Nick: This is a good point Because a lot of people are afraid of change because they think well, what if I stuck up? What if I embarrass myself? Life will throw things at you and you have to change.
As you say you've got to navigate through these changes to keep moving. Especially when it's something new and it reminds me of the Japanese idea of the Shoshin “the beginner's mind."
The concept that if you approach things from a beginner's mind, then you're accepting that, well, I'm new to this.
Misako: That's a good phrase. I'm new to this.
Nick: Yeah, it's okay if I make mistakes, and obviously, with the change, you grow as a person.
Misako: Exactly.
Nick: You need this approach of going to navigate through changes rather than fear and let my ego do the talking.Be Kind to Yourself
Sometimes, we are our own biggest critics; we tend to overthink and beat ourselves up whenever we encounter failure. Think about it, is it how we would treat our friends or loved ones? When we have loved ones undergoing challenging times, we often come up with words of encouragement. If we can offer kind words to others, we might as well practice telling these to ourselves. Misako shares another genki habit: being kind to ourselves.
Don't add more pain when you're already hurting
Misako: As you mentioned, life throws you everything, so when it comes to setbacks, we have to deal with the loudest nastiest voice that is our voice.
Our inner mind, our inner voice attacks us. So when it comes to 'K' -- be kind to yourself. I was in a very difficult situation in American Samoa. I didn't know what to do, I didn't get that for a long time.
I was confused and I felt someone was grabbing my stomach and churning, putting something into it and churning it. Then I remembered my best friend and my conversation, and I made a big mistake and I was blaming myself:
"I'm just so stupid I cannot do this. I'm bad, and I'm not good enough" And she said to me, "Hey, if I was suffering, you wouldn't say that to me, would you?" That hit me, my other best friend said, it's no use adding extra pain when you're suffering.
So that's the 'K' -- be kind to yourself.
Nick: Yeah, I really connected with that passage in your book, because it's something I've been teaching myself. You would never say to your friend constantly, you're an idiot or you've stuffed up again, you wouldn't do that.
But we do it to ourselves constantly, every day. Especially when we're struggling with life or we've had some stuff-ups and made mistakes. That was really good advice.
You wouldn't even treat a total stranger like that so why do we do it to ourselves, it's just so unhealthy. Being kind to yourself enables you to really go back to this idea of being your true self.
Why "Quiet Wonder"? Understanding the Title of Misako's Book
Misako shares that the title 'Quiet Wonder' captures what readers can expect from her book. 'Quiet' encourages readers to slow down and be present, while 'wonder' invites them to appreciate the beauty around them.
A moment of quietness sparks a sense of wonder
Nick: We’ll get into all of the details of your haiku and how you overcome those challenges. But let's talk about your title, Quiet Wonder, I imagined this represents the experience of writing and also reading or interpreting haiku.
Misako: Exactly, you know me so well. This is just like your book, Ikigai-kan, you added kan. That subtle, just one letter changes the entire course of what the book is about. We get the feelings of ikigai-kan, you probably specifically changed the title from ikigai which is something often lost in translation, kind of misunderstanding happens.
Ikigai-kan, I wanted to create that kind of precision into my haiku title. And while I was creating it, each haiku is a humble invitation to my readers, and I wanted to create something you can expect from only two words. I challenged myself only two words to give the title.
The ‘quiet’ portion gives my readers time to take a pause, the moment of quietness that sits the environment to enjoy their wonder like a kid, just like me, ‘Oh my goodness, this is beautiful!’ To enjoy immensely.
Before that, you have to have a quiet moment; not being rushed or not being pushed—being there, right there at the moment. Be there, here, now. Moment is created by quiet that set the motion of wonder and this combination came to me in a quite lovely way, after probably some cut and paste and erasing, typing like crazy.
It's a very lovely way and I love the idea of this quiet wonder, it represents Pacific Northwest kind of quietness. And when you go into the forest, it's a grandeur of the scenery or big waterfalls—that contrast this book creates is represented very well.
Nick: I thought what a wonderful title and I kind of instantly thought that's such a fitting title for haiku because haiku does require pause or reflection or space or yutori, or this idea of quietness. And then especially in the natural world, which your book does focus on, there is so much wonder and amazement and joy and you see life come alive.
And you need that quietness, you need to be observing with empty mind or a free mind to really see the moment. So I thought, what a fitting title. And yeah, I mean, the title, if we're honest, it's also a way to market your book.
Misako: Yes, true.
Nick: You should buy the book because of this title.
Misako: Right.
Nick: I thought that's a really impressive title.
Haiku Unveiled: A Journey Through Its Origins
Misako delves into the origins of haiku, tracing it back to the 8th century and exploring its application in Western settings today.
Haiku, an enduring, time-tested form
Nick: So let’s touch on haiku. I think most people know the word haiku, most of our listeners, but maybe they don't really understand it fully like me. So how would you define haiku?
Misako: Haiku, traditionally, is an enduring time-tested form. And it has gone through so many changes. It started from, you can trace back to 5-7-5-7-7 syllables, that is very comfortable for Japanese. Just like the music, it sticks to your brain, and then you can sing afterwards many times.
And 5-7-5-7-7 started from eighth century, the Nara period, and it hasn't been called haiku yet. But the collaboration of 10,000 leaves, it started from nature. Poets read 5-7-5-7-7 called Tanka, and it has became one book.
It's the eighth century, so it’s embedded into Japanese—5-7-5-7-7, it's very comfortable. And then it became the samurai era, my favorite era, it comes after the 12th century period. It wasn't still haiku—that was the form of haiku was born, the era. The poets gather together, and they take a turn of 5-7-5-7-7 syllables to create a longer poem until each poet gets satisfied.
And the first 5-7-5 was called hokku, and that became haiku, a stand alone poem in Basho era. And now it became really popular in Western culture as well, it's 5-7-5 syllables. And traditionally, I say, it has to have indication of the season and celebration of the nature. And entwined with your feelings or emotions and some sort of atmosphere of the town or mountains.
And explores subject and object, who is reading it, or who is experiencing it. It's 5-7-5 syllables, three lines, let you travel into the area, and you get somehow exploring the point, created a scenery. That's the traditional haiku.
And we'll talk about a little bit more later, it's called kigo, a seasonal world, it has to have it. If it doesn't have it, it goes more black humor and satire and criticizing politics and so forth in the 5-7-5 syllables, that is called in Japan senryu. It is still very popular to this date. And some people make a very sharp, very funny, but very black humor.
And in Western culture, the line between haiku and senryu can be very blur. Because senryu can have seasonal words, and how do you differentiate that? I do not have someone clearly differentiate haiku versus senryu in a Western culture way, because, you know, Hawaii doesn't have winter.
Internationally, it gets blur. So to summarize it, haiku is 5-7-5 syllables, and traditionally, it has to have the indication of the season. It doesn't have to be snow or element, it can be your melancholic feelings when you see that autumn is coming, that feeling can be used as indications. In Japan, there are references you can check if this kigo is right or not. But in universal way, it's more free.
Understanding Kigo: The Seasonal Essence of Haiku
In Japan, kigo, or season words, are a part of everyday life. They're used in things like business letters and greetings. For Misako who grew up in Japan, using kigo in haiku feels natural. In Japanese culture, each season is celebrated and valued, making kigo an important part of their poetry.
The connection of seasons to Japanese art
Nick: Japan has this beautiful way of creating structure to express emotion with this emphasis on season. And you mentioned earlier, haiku incorporates this device poetic device known as kigo. So what is kigo? And why is it important?
Misako: Well, kigo in English, since its indication of the season in Japanese as well. It was very much used in everyday life. When I was in Japan and doing administrative job taking those jobs, I wrote my boss's letters and you had to add kigo in that business letter: greeting and kigo comes in, then the subject of the letter comes in, and the greeting again.
Kigo is so much embedded into our everyday life in Japan. When it comes to haiku, as a poetic device, it is nothing special for someone who grew up in Japan. Kigo, each season we celebrate. So more celebration involved than other countries.
And Kigo Saijiki is the reference book for kigo. You can actually use it for finding the right kigo for the business letter or haiku. It's not right or wrong. Sometimes it goes off, someone gets too much power to it, and you have to follow this kind of attitude.
And when it becomes more of a cage, instead of backbone. I'm on the fence of having the reference of kigo in Japan, it's extremely helpful, but it also limits your imagination and finding new words or combination of the words. Haiku should be playful, can be playful, and then evolve as we humans evolve.
So the references get updated every year, but I still think I'm on the fence, is it a good good thing or not?
Nick: Yeah, I mean kigo, I guess we could translate it to seasonal word. Yeah, it seems to be the go-to subject of small talk.
Misako: Right.
Nick: I mean, Japanese seem to be more conscious of nature and season, seasonal change. And I guess because of that, I think they have a more deeper awareness of time, how time changes. And I guess that's why it's expressed in haiku. Sumi-e, like ink painting, or in many crafts. And, to quote from your book, you write:
‘My hope is that each haiku invites you to pause as if experiencing each moment a new. From the lively wild flowers of spring, to the stark slumber of winter.’
So you're clearly emphasizing seasons, but you're adding these words of slumber, the stark slumber of winter or the lively wildflowers of spring. So there seems to be this deeper connection to season and winter in Japanese art, and obviously, how you express it so beautifully.
A Speck of Hopeful Blue
Misako shares one of her favorite haikus from her book, "Quiet Wonder," and explains how she came up with it.
A three-dimensional trip for the reader
Nick: Let's dive into some haiku. In your book, to enhance your haiku experience, you obviously took and curated a collection of photographs to serve as bridges guiding the reader deeper into the haiku poems you wrote.
So I recommend our readers purchase your book, then they can enjoy reading haiku. But let's share some. So would you like to share several of your poems and give us a taste of what's in your book
Misako: All right, well, each haiku poem is an invitation for readers to create from there, and I set the stage for the readers. This is one of my favorites:
A Speck of Hopeful Blue
In the deep, still woods
A piece of robin's eggshell —
Skyward, new life soars
There I was in a deep wood, and I knew there was a robin's nest, and under the tree, I saw a speck of eggshell that is the sky blue. And that tells this bird belongs to the sky. At least the egg shell tells, I like to think that way. Left the nest, and now it's flying somewhere. And we don't have big snakes in this forest. So I hope they flew.
But that's the beauty of invitation. I was there in a dip, very damp, dark forest floor looking at something sparkling. It was teeny tiny blue., I pick it up, and it's a blue eggshell, very light, so teeny tiny. And I remember, there was a nest, I came here all year in the summer, and the Mother was feeding furiously.
And now it's just an empty nest and eggshell. Now my mind's flying, trying to see the robin. And that's the three-dimensional trip I'm trying to invite my readers to take with me
Nick: Beautiful. It also reminds me of you had to be kind of in the forest, away to see the shell. I imagine you walking through the forest and you see something, and it generated this haiku.
The Art of Imperfection: Wabi-Sabi in Haiku Poetry
For Misako, wabi-sabi, like ikigai, is not something to chase or achieve but something to feel and cherish. Instead of looking for perfection and conventional beauty, wabi-sabi helps you see beauty in imperfections and the realness of things, which is something people may encounter when writing haiku poetry.
A more mindful way of experiencing life through wabi-sabi
Nick: Another fascinating word and concept, and you write: ‘In Haiku poetry, we often encounter the quiet yet stirring presence of wabi sabi.’
Like ikigai, wabi-sabi has become popular and appreciated outside of Japan. But I think that the West's understanding, or the interpretation of wabi-sabi is quite narrow. And it's often defined as the beauty of imperfection. But that is probably not enough.
Misako: It is part of it, but it's not the whole idea of wabi-sabi. Just like ikigai, you said it before: it's not you chase and get it—it's more of you feel it and cherish the emotion around it. And wabi-sabi is very similar.
Because of imperfection and fleeting moment, you naturally have this moment of reflection, like you stop and pause. And that's the moment you wear a kind of wabi-sabi lens to see something beyond—the imperfection is the little window to go beyond the element in front of you.
And we are so trained and almost conditioned to see something beautiful, we have to tick off these boxes; something colorful or something with a good contrast and good layout, has to be good this way and that way.
But wabi-sabi frees us, the imperfection frees us to feel a sense of something behind it, something around it. It's more real. In this digital era, we are just craving for the immediate answer: yes or no, black or white, zero or one? You have to go check and do the next thing.
But it's the moment you free yourself to see. Just like your father-in-law, you and your father-in-law's conversation was very fascinating. I would like to hear more. It just you asked and he said it's not something to be explained, it's something you feel.
Nick: He didn’t even say that, actually. It was actually from you that I learned, it's something you sense: So wabi-sabi, it's not just the aesthetic of something, it's something you sense. But yeah, from my father-in-law, who's a potter, he makes traditional tea ceremony cups, shino-yaki, he actually introduced me to the word, and it was kind of strange because he wanted to make traditional Japanese pottery in a mountain kiln.
That's a long story. But he purchased land and hand-built kiln, and it was sort of a passion project. And it was very difficult because the first two firings failed, and they lost hundreds of pieces of pottery. Once he finally had, I think on the third fire, they produced some pretty good pieces. And I was in the factory one day and he was busy wrapping things.
And he has two pieces up on the desk and he speaks tono-ben, he's a man of few words, but I think he was like, he said something like ‘ureru domo’, or something like ‘Which one do you think would sell for more?’ And one had that perfect kind of catalogue look, it was symmetrical, lovely looking. And then the other one was kind of off and wonky. And I'm thinking well, I should say the opposite to what I think.
So I was thinking I should say, it should be the wonky one. So I wasn't even really listening to my heart, I was thinking very objectively. But then I thought, it has to be this one that looks like a catalogue, like perfect. So I kind of chose the symmetrical perfect one. And he's gone like no, and he just pointed to the wonky one. And then he just said ‘wabi-sabi’, and then he left.
And I'm like, okay, he said something very significant here. Because he's never taught me anything. And then I'm like, I don’t know what it means. I asked my wife what's wabi-sabi, and she kind of stopped and just said that it’s too hard.
And then I remember going online, this is a long time ago, this was like, almost 18 years ago, and looking it up, and the only things in English were like these interior design or books on pottery. So it took me a while after that to, you know, kind of having conversations with you and getting a feel for it.
Traditionally, it's related to the aesthetic of pottery, and the feeling pottery generates. But it also obviously ties in nature, and I guess other traditional crafts. But it's this fleeting moment where it seems to cut through your consciousness and you have this moment of pause and reflect.
And it's sort of just you and the world connected for a moment; or you in this reflection on nature or beauty. So it's almost like a little epiphany when you have this sense of wabi-sabi.