Are you seeking more rolefulness in your life?
In this episode of the Ikigai Podcast, Nick welcomes back Daiki Kato to explore their new book on rolefulness—a concept that empowers people to live more intentionally by embracing meaningful roles in everyday life.
Podcast Highlights
On co-authoring a book. Daiki and Nick share their thoughts on collaborating to write Rolefulness.
Defining rolefulness. Daiki explains the concept of rolefulness.
What is a role? Nick and Daiki delve deeper into what can be considered a role.
An increase in rolelessness. Nick and Daiki discuss how rolelessness has become prevalent in today’s society.
Two aspects of rolefulness. Nick and Daiki discuss both the social and internal dimensions of rolefulness.
A role-focused life over a goal-focused life. Nick and Daiki discuss the importance of living a role-focused life.
The role framework. Nick and Daiki explain the role framework they developed.
Unique rolefulness. Nick and Daiki discuss another type of rolefulness they explored in their book.
The concept of nofulness. Nick and Daiki discuss a new idea they developed while writing their book.
Daiki Kato
Professor Daiki Kato is a professor at the College of Human Science at Kinjo Gakuin University, Nagoya, Japan; his areas of study include clinical psychology and art therapy. He received a Bachelor in Education in 2003, a Master of Arts in 2005, and a Ph.D. in psychology in 2008 – all from Nagoya University in Japan.
Nicholas Kemp
Nicholas Kemp is a father, husband, Japanologist, researcher, solopreneur, and author of IKIGAI-KAN: Feel a Life Worth Living. He is the founder and head coach of Ikigai Tribe, a small community of educators, psychologists, coaches, and trainers who serve their personal communities using the ikigai concept.
On co-authoring a book
Nick and Daiki’s friendship grew over the past two years after first connecting during a podcast episode about the concept of rolefulness. Inspired by that discussion, Nick proposed co-authoring a book, which they later met in Brisbane to plan. Daiki was happy by the invitation, noting that while rolefulness is rooted in Japanese culture, it resonates globally. This led to the creation of their book, Rolefulness.
Defining rolefulness
Daiki defines rolefulness as ‘the ongoing sense of role satisfaction experienced in daily life.’ Initially, he focused on writing academic research papers to establish psychological evidence for the concept, but he later recognized the value of presenting it in a more accessible language through a book. He also co-wrote a Japanese book on rolefulness with Dr. Mikie Suzuki, which has received positive feedback from professionals such as researchers and teachers.
What is a role?
As defined in the book Rolefulness, a role is a pattern of behavior expressed within a social context that becomes meaningful when it reflects one’s authentic self. One of the themes explored in the book is role distress, a common but often unnamed experience. Key aspects include:
Role strain: Feeling stretched thin by the demands of a single role.
Role conflict: When different roles clash, such as balancing work and parenting.
Role confusion: Uncertainty about where one role ends and another begins.
Role ambiguity: Not knowing what is expected in a given role.
Role overload: Struggling with too many roles at once.
These challenges are central themes in rolefulness and resonate with many people’s everyday lives.
An increase in rolelessness
Nick and Daiki’s motivation for writing the book came from noticing an increase in rolelessness in society. This was evident during COVID when many roles were put on hold, and more recently due to AI advancements creating new challenges. Daiki also highlights Japan’s unique example of rolelessness seen in hikikomori—individuals withdrawing from social roles.
This phenomenon is spreading globally and affecting a broader demographic over time. Alongside rolelessness, they highlight role captivity, the feeling of being trapped in unwanted roles, often work-related, which also negatively impacts well-being. Ultimately, they propose rolefulness as the answer to these modern social issues.
Two aspects of rolefulness
Rolefulness consists of two key aspects: social and internal. Social rolefulness refers to the sense of belonging and satisfaction we gain from our relationships and the social groups we’re part of—it’s about feeling valued and connected. Internal rolefulness, on the other hand, is about personal identity and the inner fulfillment that comes from aligning with and fulfilling your roles authentically.
Social rolefulness typically develops first through interactions with others, which then leads to internal rolefulness, fostering confidence, self-esteem, and inner satisfaction.
A role-focused life over a goal-focused life
Nick and Daiki emphasize the importance of living a role-focused life rather than a goal-focused life. While society often prioritizes achievements like wealth and career success, they argue that true mental well-being comes from fulfilling meaningful roles that align with one’s unique personality, values, and vision—a concept they call specific rolefulness.
The role framework
Initially, during the process of writing their book, the concept of rolefulness emerged–starting with general rolefulness, which refers to fulfilling social roles through everyday actions like greetings, conversations, and expressing gratitude. This isn’t tied to any specific role but reflects meaningful, mutual interactions in daily life.
As the book evolved, the focus expanded to include specific roles, which led to the creation of their role framework. This framework helps individuals define their roles in ways that are both personally meaningful and socially responsible. It emphasizes the need for mutual role compatibility, meaning roles should align with the expectations and comfort of others.
Nick gives a personal example of how his role as a father evolved as his son grew older, shifting from physical play to verbal banter. This adaptation reflects the idea that fulfilling a role well involves ongoing negotiation and alignment—similar to how people adjust to each other's love languages to feel connected.
Unique rolefulness
Unique rolefulness is a deeply personal role often tied to life purpose or a meaningful project. This type of role is guided by one's values, intuition, and life experience, and requires commitment and self-awareness. Many people never discover their unique role because they don’t take the time for introspection. However, finding and embracing this role can lead to a sense of mission and fulfillment.
The concept of nofulness
Nick introduces the concept of "nofulness," a new idea that emerged while writing the book. Inspired by the idea of rolefulness, nofulness is about setting boundaries by saying ‘no’—not out of guilt, but from a place of liberation and self-respect. It emphasizes staying true to one’s values and making intentional choices, even in small acts like ignoring a text or declining a request. Nick sees this as an empowering skill, especially in cultures like Japan’s, where saying no directly can be difficult.
Daiki agrees, noting that many Japanese people feel guilty when saying no due to cultural norms. He explains that rolefulness and nofulness are deeply connected—having confidence in one’s role makes it easier to assert boundaries.
Conclusion
We each play different roles throughout our lives—and these roles often evolve over time. They shape how we find meaning and purpose in our daily experiences. By embracing rolefulness, we can deepen our connections with others and cultivate a more fulfilling, intentional life.