96 – Discovering Ikigai: Making Life Worth Living After Losing Everything To War with Myroslava Marchenko

How do you rebuild your life after losing everything?


Coping with loss is one of life’s greatest challenges, yet there are paths to recovery that can help us heal and move forward. One such path is discovering a sense of ikigai.


In this episode of the Ikigai Podcast, Nick speaks with Myroslava Marchenko on how individuals can rediscover purpose and resilience in the aftermath of profound loss.




Podcast Highlights


Myroslava Marchenko

Myroslava (Myra) Marchenko, originally from Kharkiv, Ukraine, is a travel PR consultant based in Berlin. She is also a journalist, social media coordinator, tourism content creator, travel agent, copywriter, and coach for travel professionals. Additionally, Myra is a certified Ikigai Tribe coach.

LINKS: Instagram


A life-changing experience

Myra recounts a deeply painful yet meaningful experience that marked the first step toward her ikigai. When news of the war in Ukraine broke, she was far from home, and her city, Kharkiv—close to the Russian border—was among the first to be bombed.


Their home became uninhabitable, forcing her entire family to relocate. At the same time, she endured immense stress from being separated from her loved ones during such a critical period. She also faced the devastating realization that she had lost everything professionally, as the travel industry, where she built her career, collapsed overnight.


Stranded in Germany, Myra was separated from her family for months, who were in a remote village with limited internet access. Despite the challenges, she describes this time as an ‘ikigai retreat,’ which allowed her to slow down, reflect, and reevaluate her priorities. Material possessions lost their significance, and family emerged as the most important aspect of her life.



Moving to Germany

After months of separation, Myra was finally able to reunite with her family in Germany. While adjusting to her new life has been challenging—particularly learning the German language—she has made significant progress. She gained valuable experience communicating with locals and even secured her first-ever job. For Myra and her family, Germany has become a place of safety, financial stability, and the promise of a more secure future.



The impact of ikigai

For Myra, ikigai is a mix of positive emotions rather than just one singular feeling. She created a list of 40 emotions, and whenever she experiences a combination of them, she writes them down, identifies what triggered those feelings, and stores them in her ‘ikigai bank.’ This practice helps her when her mental state declines, allowing her to maintain a positive mindset by using her ikigai sources to boost her emotions when needed.


“It is 100% that ikigai is in you–everybody has it. The only thing you can do is to uncover it. You shouldn't go out somewhere and look around, it is not in the field, it is inside you. The only thing you can do is uncover your ikigai.” - Myra Marchenko


The impact of ikigai


She believes that ikigai is inherently within everyone. It's not something to be found externally, but rather uncovered from within. She emphasizes that discovering your ikigai is a process of self-exploration, involving daily introspection. 



Reclaiming ikigai after difficult times

In a time of loss, Myra discovers the transformative power of self-discovery and resilience. She explains how losing everything external led her to realize the value of her inner self, prompting her to embark on a journey of introspection, guided by the Japanese concept of ikigai.


She believes that trauma and adversity can catalyze deep reflection on what truly matters, strengthening resilience and guiding one toward meaningful pursuits. This resilience, she suggests, is key to navigating life’s challenges and living a purpose-driven life.


Myra uses ikigai as a decision-making framework, asking whether her choices align with her purpose and bring meaning to her life. She emphasizes that living authentically according to one’s values, as ikigai encourages, not only enhances personal happiness but also positively impacts those around you.


“I think ikigai is all about living authentically to your values, and when you do that you're like a better person to be around, because you're being authentic, you're being true to who you want to be.” - Nicholas Kemp


Reclaiming ikigai after difficult times


Connection between resilience and ikigai

Studying ikigai helped Myra transform from feeling unfocused and stressed to gaining clarity and resilience. She emphasizes that the turning point was her decision to take full responsibility for her life. This realization made her understand that external factors cannot define her happiness or well-being—only her own choices can.


She highlights that resilience begins with the will to make that choice, a step not everyone finds easy. Myra considers herself fortunate to have had the inner will to take responsibility for her life, enabling her to discover her ikigai sources within. Even in uncontrollable circumstances, such as war, she stresses the importance of controlling one’s reactions and using internal resources to strengthen mental resilience.



The transformative effect of ikigai

Myra’s initial motivation for learning about ikigai wasn't just for self-help, but to assist thousands of Ukrainian women displaced by conflict. As she explored ikigai, she developed ways to apply it in her life and help others. She became a leader in an ikigai club that now includes 73 Ukrainian women, marking a significant achievement.


Myra believes that ikigai provides these women, who have lost everything, with a path to rebuild their lives and find inner strength. By sharing this concept, she empowers them to embrace a mindset that allows them to thrive anywhere in the world. For Myra, this is not only a mission to help women but also a way to contribute to the future of her country.



Ikigai your life

Myra created two key initiatives related to ikigai. The first is the ‘Ikigai Life Plan,’ a transformational tool designed to help women not only create to-do lists but also plan meaningful experiences that contribute to their ikigai—events and interactions that enrich their mental state and emotions. The second is the slogan ‘Ikigai Your Life,’ where ikigai is used as a verb, encouraging women in her club to live a life focused on emotional fulfillment, not just tasks.


“If you want to have ikigai in your life, you have to ‘Ikigai Your Life.’” - Myra Marchenko


Ikigai your life


Advice for those lacking ikigai

Myra emphasizes the importance of mindset in achieving a fulfilling life. She believes that to live a happy life, one must first make the decision to embrace happiness and avoid negativity. Ikigai, she argues, is a lifestyle, not a one-time exercise. It involves looking inward to discover your true passions and values, taking responsibility for your life, and not letting external circumstances dictate your emotions. 


Myra encourages people to start small, focus on what excites them, and create an ‘ikigai bank’ by reflecting on activities that bring joy and fulfillment. She also stresses that if negative emotions arise, it’s crucial to change the mindset immediately to avoid attracting negativity. Ultimately, she advises people to visualize their ideal life and take the steps needed to make it a reality, embracing ikigai in all aspects.



Taking part in the very first Ikigai Retreat

Nick conducted the very first Ikigai Retreat last November, with Myra as one of the participants. She describes her experience as the best journey of her life. What made it truly special was not just visiting Japan, but the people she met and the core philosophy of the retreat.


The retreat centered on understanding the lives of individuals living in their ikigai, which had a profound impact on her. She admired how some people, despite modern technology, maintained a deep passion for their work, adding a unique and enriching dimension to her understanding of life.


Myra also praised the retreat for the excellent choice of locations and meticulous planning, highlighting how every aspect of the trip was tailored to her enjoyment, from the food to the places they visited.



Ikigai plans

Myra plans to promote the ikigai lifestyle and spread the motto 'Ikigai Your Life.' She intends to give offline speeches on the topic of ikigai and is also working on a book that will explore various Japanese concepts to help individuals uncover their ikigai. This project was inspired by the insights she gained from the Ikigai Retreat, and she hopes to finish it by the end of the year.



Conclusion

Experiencing loss can be incredibly devastating. However, difficult times often serve as a catalyst, encouraging deep reflection on life and what truly matters. These moments of introspection can uncover new sources of ikigai that help individuals cope and move forward in life.

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