
Yoko Inoue embarks on a heartfelt journey to discover the essence of happiness in the world's "happiest country" in episode 31 of the Ikigai Podcast.
Yoko has 20 years of experience writing for Japan’s largest newspaper, The Yomiuri Shimbun, writing on subjects such as major industries and lawmakers in Japan, climate change issues, dementia, Alzheimer’s, crime, and natural disasters.
*Watch the full playlist above.
Permission To Be Human
Living in the happiest country in the world doesn't guarantee someone his/her happiness. As the experience of Yoko, it was tough for her to find satisfaction amidst being in the happiest country in the world.
Feeling of unhappiness is natural
Nick: You actually reached out to him via email while you were writing your series of articles, and you asked him advice, basically asking: how to be happy in a foreign country which is the happiest country in the world?
So would you like to share what he wrote?
Yoko: Yes, you're right. Well, you know, in a way, I'm a failed student. I was in a situation where, even though I took the happiness class at Harvard, and even though I was in the happiest country in the world, I was not so happy.
So I reached out to Tal just to hear what he would say about my situation. I didn't expect him to reply, 10 years have passed since I took the class. Yet, he replied in 15 minutes. His answer was amazing, and let me quote, here's what he wrote:
"Even in the happiest country in the world, it's important to give yourself permission to be human, going through periods of uncertainty, and unhappiness is natural, and in fact, can be a springboard to deeper understanding of one's purpose, and passion."
Nick: It is quite an answer. As you know, it reminded me of an important aspect of ikigai. In article eight, in your series, "My quest for happiness in Denmark", you wrote on the subject of revisiting the authentic meaning of ikigai.
I was like, oh, wow, and I was really excited by your article, and I thought I should reach out to this person. And I did, and here we are.
Happiness is Subjective
How do we find happiness? Is it something that we gain from other people? Yoko shares how she came to understand that happiness is subjective and personal: only a person can define his/her own happiness.
Happiness is different to each of us
Nick: In your article you shared, I think you'd spoken to Professor Greve and asked him quite a few questions.
Speaking "oh, you know, I need something I need to basically tell me how can I be happy?" And his response was "You have to decide, not me."
Looking back on that answer, how did you feel? What did you think at the time as well?
Yoko: At that time, of course, I was a bit disappointed. Then the article finished in number two, so it was kind of good that he didn't give me that kind of question. But looking back, he was absolutely right.
Meik and also professor Greve help me to understand my situation. So what I understood was that Nordic countries are good at reducing the source of unhappiness. For example, people leave the office at 4 pm or 5 pm.
So working parents have no problem picking up kids from kindergarten after work. Also, the price for such an institution is affordable, and everybody is guaranteed a spot at the nursery or kindergarten as long as you wish.
If this is the case in Japan, it would remove so much stress and unhappiness that involves. So that's how I understood, that's what the Nordic countries in society provide.
But when it comes to personal happiness, this foundation doesn't guarantee that everyone can be happy. Because when it comes to my own happiness, that's where the government or society cannot or should not be involved.
Happiness is personal and subjective, and it's only you who can define it. That's how I understood it, and that's a good start to start my own definition of happiness.
The Joy of Living
Kamiya Mieko, a pioneering researcher on ikigai focused on leprosy patients as the subject of her work on ikigai. What are her findings? Yoko shares how these leprosy patients were treated badly before, and how Kamiya found out that among those patients, some did not lose the joy of living.
Finding ikigai in tough situations
Nick: I think, for our audience to understand something important: people with leprosy in Japan, they were treated pretty badly, they were ostracised; they were shipped to islands, and they were cut from their family ties.
So would you like to touch on both those things, how they were treated? And how did they become the subject of Kamiya's work on ikigai?
Yoko: So as you mentioned, back then those patients had to suffer from strong prejudices towards the illness, and many of them had to leave their homes, otherwise, their family members would also be mistreated.
So there's almost no choice, and patients have to spend the rest of their lives in this isolated institution. They're not allowed to have children by law, that's tough. So of course, patients felt a strong sense of shame, and also alienation.
Kamiya wrote that most patients thought about committing suicide at least once, and it was not rare to repeat suicide attempts twice or three times.
But what Kamiya found was that amongst those patients, there were a few exceptions, who did not lose the joy of living, even in such a harsh environment.
For example, I'd like to talk about this one person: one man who was blind, and his fingers were lost. But he started to read the musical scores in Braille, relying on his lips, and tongues. That is the only part that's left for him that now he can sense.
So he then played the harmonica, and later he even formed a musical bond with other patients for an institution. I read that this musical band played even outside of the institution.
There are some exceptions like him. What Kamiya found in the heart of those exceptional patients was ikigai, that's what she mainly focused on in this book.
The Ikigai Concept
Rather than incorporating ikigai with entrepreneurship, people should know that ikigai is a feeling and not something that you achieve or seek. Yoko discusses Kamiya Mieko's definition of ikigai: that ikigai is something that people can feel, and having a sense of ikigai provides people a clearer sense of attitude towards the future.
Two definitions of ikigai
Nick: So on that, would you like to share how she defined ikigai in her book?
Yoko: So it's important to introduce two separate things she wrote in the book, which is ikigai and ikigai-kan. Kan means feelings or a sense. So when you say my child is my ikigai, it shows the source of the target of ikigai.
That's how most of Japanese use the term ikigai nowadays, whereas when Kamiya mentioned ikigai-kan, with a state of mind when you feel ikigai, that's something that support your life as a whole, even when you can't find anything concrete that gives you immediate happiness.
She says that this ikigai-kan is similar to the meaning of life by Viktor Frankl: Man's Search for Meaning. So in her book, On Ikigai, she actually discussed what ikigai-kan is.
Kamiya wrote that this sense of ikigai, compared to a sense of happiness, has a clearer sense of attitude towards the future. Also it is closer to the sense of oneself.
It means if there are hopes and goals in the future, no matter what the current situation is, you can feel ikigai on the way to getting there. If you're pursuing something only you can do, then this sense of fulfilment becomes even stronger.
Nick: Yeah, it really is a fascinating concept, it's got all these elements -- it's multi dimensional. It's got this idea of your life moving forward, you have this idea of hope. It's something you feel, it's personal, it helps you understand yourself.
Even if you're struggling with life, if you do have this idea of a bright future, you can feel ikigai now, but also, as you just mentioned, if you have this feeling, there's something only that you can do, it also feels stronger.
So it's taken me a long time to understand this concept. But I think when I got a book, and I started reading Japanese, and I had my wife, and other people helped me read the book, I was like, "wow, this concept, it's amazing."
It really seems to touch on all these aspects of positive psychology: hope, finding a sense of purpose, making meaning of your life struggles. So I think she's definitely like the mother of positive psychology in a way.
Living With a Purpose
What are you passionate about? Ikigai is all about living with a sense of purpose: having something that motivates you -- a reason to get up in the morning. This is how Yoko pictured Kamiya Mieko upon reading her diary: a person living with purpose; passionate and certain with her goals.
Having a strong sense of ikigai
Nick: Do you find that inspiring?
Yoko: Oh, yes. In fact, this is one of the books that I shipped all the way from Japan. So yes, it's always inspiring, but the thing is when I re-read this book for the article I wrote in 2018, I was surprised how much I could relate to that point.
Because at the time, I just quit Yomiuri, the newspaper, to continue living in Denmark. Like I said, suddenly I was in a position where I'm in my mid 40s, with no job, no idea how to be happy, you know, with three of us in Denmark.
I also read her diary, and in a way it was even more fascinating to read her diary. She described her feelings while she was working on ikigai work. It's clear that she felt a strong sense of ikigai, or even a sense of mission to finish this book. She wrote, and I quote:
"Oh my heart is full and bursting with the sense I have been feeling for many years. I cannot die until I have poured it all out. All the real work starts from now on, I cannot stay still."
Kamiya wrote this when she was 45 years old, and when I read this book, I was 43 -- almost the same age. Yet, I had no idea about what I should do in Denmark. So I was simply jealous of her having something to be so passionate about.
Nick: Yeah, but there are other quotes in it, there's actually a book about her life called A Woman With Demons.
The quote from her diary; there are these quotes where you can feel the intensity of her desire to get this information out in the book, and I think that's your translation.
This, "Oh, my heart is full and bursting with things I've been feeling for many years, I cannot die until I've poured it all out. All the real work starts from now on. I cannot stay still."
I think I had the same feeling as you. I was like, wow, imagine being that passionate about something. I was like, jealous too, oh, gee, I need to find something, that's a testament.
Yoko: Yes, absolutely right. Ikigai is a profound word for me. So if there's one person who sincerely says, this is my ikigai, it's rare to hear. That's the kind of sense of the mission or living the purpose. That's such a fortunate thing to have.For the full podcast conversation, go to: Yoko Inoue on finding happiness