Cultural Insights with Miku: Discovering Omoiyari

Miku of Miku Real Japanese

Miku explores the concept of Omoiyari—the Japanese idea of empathy and considering others’ feelings—and examines whether this cultural value is also present and practiced outside Japan in episode 37 of the Ikigai Podcast.

Miku is a YouTuber,  online Japanese teacher, podcaster, video creator, and language lover. 


*Watch the full playlist above.

Connection is My Ikigai

Is having connections essential to our ikigai? Through connecting with others, we learn and build meaningful relationships. In the case of Miku, she shares how her fondness of connecting with other people became a source of ikigai for her.

Forming meaningful connections

Nick: I was thinking about this. I imagine, for you, teaching Japanese both privately and on YouTube is a source of ikigai for you. So is that how you feel?

Miku: Yes, it is. I love connecting with people by doing what I'm doing, and I met so many amazing people through this project.

So that's, that's the blessings that I got. Whether it's my students that I'm teaching online or people who are doing the same kind of thing on YouTube, whom I met through “Miku real Japanese.” 

I feel so happy when I get to connect with them. Because if I didn't start this, I wouldn't have met them. I wouldn't have learned from them. So yeah, connection is my ikigai, I'd say.

Teaching The Japanese Language

Miku shares how her passion for learning languages enriched her life and opened an opportunity to help others who want to learn the Japanese language.

We learn languages to share perspectives

Nick: So you really seem to thrive when you're teaching. I can see your personality, and you just seem like you're being your true self. That's probably why you're so good. What's interesting is you focus on intermediate level speakers who want to become fluent. 

So really, I'm probably close to your ideal students. I think for me, your videos are just so helpful and what I need. So why did you decide to focus on that niche?

Miku: So the reason why I started all this is because language really enriched my life. Like I said in the beginning, it changed my life. It opened so many doors for me, and it connected to so many amazing people that I love in my life. 

And that's the reason why we learn languages, right? We don't learn languages to learn to say, “this is a pen,” right? We learn in order to talk about different ideas, or we learn to, we learn languages to share, share our ideas or perspectives. 

I'm sure that people who are learning Japanese want that, they want to connect with people using Japanese. There are so many resources for basic Japanese learners, but I really saw the need to teach intermediate and advanced Japanese learners because they want to jump from beginner to intermediate, but that's where they hit the wall. 

So I wanted to help those people who really want to use Japanese to connect with Japan or Japanese people, or who have Japanese family members there. So that's the reason why I focus on that level or niche.

The Different Cultures of Japan

What is Japanese culture in the eye of a Japanese person? Her experience living in other countries made Miku appreciate and learn more about her culture. However, it also helped her realize that some parts of her culture don't align with her values. 

Unique culture of Japan

Nick: What I love about your videos on YouTube is you don't just teach Japanese, you tie in Japanese culture, which I love. I love it when I meet Japanese people who are enthusiastic about their own culture, and you seem to be.

Outsiders see Japan as, you know, mysterious, fascinating, and even strange, with it's beautiful traditions, its long history and modern, quirky pop-culture. So how do you see your own culture?

Miku: That's a really interesting question. Because before I went through different countries, I didn't know so much about Japanese culture. I wasn't just aware, or I wasn't interested in it. I mean, yes, we learned in school, and we do like different traditions like mamemaki, shichi-go-san, or different traditions, right? 

We clap our hands in front of the shrine and pray on the first day of the year. But we never know why. They don't teach us why we do that, the reason behind it. I mean, of course, it depends on the family, depends on the person, but personally, I didn't know. 

And when I went to Spain, and I saw Japan objectively, and a lot of people asked me so many questions about Japanese culture, Shintoism, and Buddhism, I didn't know so much. So I was so ashamed. I was like, embarrassed that I didn't know. 

So that's when I started to learn. I started to realize that Japan is really, really unique and beautiful. As each country is unique and beautiful, I found so many deep culture. Like I started to learn sado, tea ceremony. 

And in there, there is the philosophy of ichigo ichie. Have you ever heard of it? So one life, one encounter: one lifetime, one encounter. It's not only meeting with people but also opportunities, and what you have in front of you, this experience, that I'm talking with you Nick, this is not going to repeat again. This is just going to be one time, so appreciate this moment, like this kind of philosophy. 

Also, Japanese people place importance on living with nature. It changed a lot after WWII, but it used to be like that – that's the core of Shintoism, like connecting with nature and appreciating nature, because nature is God. And those things I really love. 

At the same time, I see problems and things that don't align with my values: like honne and tatemae, your true feeling and your public face. In order not to offend anyone, you kind of try to say things that you don't think or those kinds of things, I feel a little bit that I don't feel aligned. 

So I learned so much about amazing things, and I also learned things that I don't have to follow anymore.

The Concept of Omoiyari

Have you heard of the term omoiyari? The Japanese culture consists of various concepts that people use in their daily lives. Miku introduces one of these concepts: omoiyari (sending one’s altruistic feelings to others). They explored how Japanese people apply this idea of omoiyari in their society.

Give your thoughts and take an action on it

Nick: Speaking of culture, I'd like to dive into this theme for this episode, which is this word, omoiyari

While researching a book I'm currently writing, I was looking up this word because I wanted to include it in my book, and I couldn't find a lot of information. I thought, I'll do a search on YouTube, and then I stumbled upon your video. 

It was extremely helpful. It was all in Japanese. So it's about 10 minutes – a very in depth explanation of omoiyari, and I thought, thank God, I found this video. It's so helpful because it really explained it. Your video is titled: “Mindset of consideration (Omoiyari).” 

That really helped me, so first of all, thank you so much for recording that video. And it's the reason why I reached out to you. So let’s start, this will be interesting, because it's not an easy word to explain. How would you define omoiyari?

Miku: So omoi means thought. So omoimasu means to think and omoi means thought. Yari comes from the verb, yarimasu or yaru which means to give and to direct. So basically, omoiyari means to direct your thoughts, or give your thoughts and take an action on it. 

So basically, you put yourself in others’ shoes, and think: “What can I do for this person now?”, “What is this person feeling?”, “What kind of trouble or problem is this person having now?” And then you read the room and act on it.

Nick: Yeah. We'll get into that expression, read the room, in a minute. But yeah, I think what I've learned and I learned from you, is it's going beyond empathy. So it's not just feeling sorry for someone or understanding how they feel. There's more to it. 

And I found a quote that might offer some perspective and it is: 

“If a person who helps wants to act according to the concept of omoiyari, it is essential for him or her to learn how to assess the needs or feelings of the person in need.”

So I guess one of the crucial words is help – you actually help the person and that will involve action, doing something.

Miku: And now that you said that, I also think that sometimes not doing anything can be omoiyari, too. Like, for example, not saying something, you want to say something or you want to do something now, and you stop there. 

Maybe this is not the right time for for me to say it, and you not saying or not doing it is also omoiyari. Like basically doing something for the other person. But there are some exceptions, I thought.

Nick: Actually, that reminds me of a conversation I had with Ken Mogi related to that: when we're in some sort of social situation, you need to be mindful of what you say, because you never know, you could say something, alienate someone, and you won't know you've done that. 

And of course, we don't want to alienate people. Yeah, Japanese are very good at holding back. So that that's another thing I learnt. 

Miku: Sometimes, too much.

Nick: Too much? So there’s this balance, we’ll talk about.

The Ideal Communication in Japan

Japanese people use omoiyari as a way of communicating. They try to be considerate and avoid conflicts. Hence, there is a noticeable difference in how the Japanese communicate compared to other cultures. Miku distinguished this when she got the chance to experience living in other countries.

The world needs more of omoiyari

Nick: I'd like to read the description you wrote for your YouTube video, because I think it says a lot about who you are as a person. So would you like to read it? 

Miku: Oh, please read it. 

Nick: Okay, I'll read it. Here I go:

If we can all consider other people's feelings and give love and kindness to each other, this world would become a peaceful place. If we can all realize we are just brothers and sisters, we will be united. If we can put ourselves in other people's shoes, we would not jump to judgments, we would listen to understand. I can also say that I felt so much omoiyari in my life. People I've come across are so full of love and kindness. I think this world needs more of omoiyari and connections.” 

When I read that, I thought, wow, what a beautiful caring person – this is someone who seems very wise. And I thought, yeah, I'd like to connect with this person. So that's why I reached out. 

Miku: Thank you. 

Nick: So something I read. And we kind of talked about this, but I read that omoiyari is regarded as an ideal communication in Japanese society. It's something I think that's taught at school. So would you like to talk about this?

Miku: I think when I went to other countries, I realized that the way we communicate in Japan, and the way they communicate in other countries, is different. And that's not like, this is good and this is bad. It's just that it's different ways of communications. 

Like for example, when I'm talking in Japanese, I don't say yes or no very quickly, right? I go, I think this is good idea, but it's better, maybe better to do this way, so let's think about it together kind of communication, right? 

And when I went to Spain, I struggled so much it took me so long to learn to say yes and no. Because I don't say yes or no so directly in Japanese. So that's when I realized, wow, that it's really different. Japanese is a really vague language. You know it, right?

So that's first thing and second thing is that we are not used to debating. We don't have debating culture. So we listen to each other, usually depends on the person. But we usually try to listen to the other person until they finish. Then we talk about, we say something. 

But I struggled so much when I was living in Spain and Mexico, because it's not that they are trying to interrupt me. But when I'm trying to form sentences in my head in Spanish, and then say something, they talk about their ideas. And I talk about my ideas. And it's more like building conversation. 

It's not because they are not respecting me or anything. That's how they communicate, debating and talking about ideas. So when I came back to Japan, I was so amazed by how patient… I mean, that's how we communicate. So it's not like, it's good and bad. 

But I was so amazed by how Japanese people listen to each other until the end. Also, it's not only the mindset, because Japanese language, the very important thing, the most important information comes at the end, the verb. 

Like, if I say "taberu," I eat, right? And if it goes up, “Taberu?”, means “Do you want to eat?” And "tabeta" means I ate, "tabeyo" means let's eat – the important part comes at the end. So language itself, you need to listen until the end.

For the full podcast conversation, go to: Exploring the Japanese concept of Omoiyari

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